Here is How You Can Help

This past year people have asked again and again how they can help. If they can do anything. If we need anything. Thankfully, luckily, we had things more or less under control. I am very thankful that my family has such a strong support system surrounding us, propping us up.

But there is something ya'll can do. You guys can join me in raising some funds to help end this horrible, hopeless cancer. Pancreatic cancer is one of the most deadly cancers out there yet one of the least researched or fundraised. As we found out first hand, they don't know very much. Here is what they do know:

• An estimated 46,420 Americans will be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the U.S., and over 39,590 will die from the disease.
• Pancreatic cancer is one of the few cancers for which survival has not improved substantially over nearly 40 years.
• Pancreatic cancer is the 4th leading cause of cancer-related death in the United States.
• Pancreatic cancer has the highest mortality rate of all major cancers. 94% of pancreatic cancer patients will die within five years of diagnosis – only 6% will survive more than five years. 74% of patients die within the first year of diagnosis.
• The average life expectancy after diagnosis with metastatic disease is just three to six months.
• Pancreatic cancer may cause only vague symptoms that could indicate many different conditions within the abdomen or gastrointestinal tract. Symptoms include pain (usually abdominal or back pain), weight loss, jaundice (yellowing of the skin and eyes), loss of appetite, nausea, changes in stool, and diabetes.
• Treatment options for pancreatic cancer are limited. Surgical removal of the tumor is possible in less than 20% of patients diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Chemotherapy or chemotherapy together with radiation is typically offered to patients whose tumors cannot be removed surgically.
• Pancreatic cancer is a leading cause of cancer death largely because there are no detection tools to diagnose the disease in its early stages when surgical removal of the tumor is still possible.
• The National Cancer Institute (NCI) spent an estimated $105.3 million on pancreatic cancer research in 2012. This represented a mere 1.8% of the NCI’s approximate $5.8 billion cancer research budget for that year.

Source for statistics: American Cancer Society: Cancer Facts & Figures 2014 and NCI Annual Plan & Budget Proposal For Fiscal Year 2012.

So I'm going to do what little I can to help to raise some funds. I had to sit this last year on the bench, watching my Dad wither away, completely helpless. There was nothing I, or anyone, could do. My family is participating in the PurpleStride 5k Run and Walk organized by the Pancreatic Action Network. This is how I'm getting into the game. This is something I can do. We can all do.

The event is Saturday, September 27. I would really like to see as many people as possible come out and join us. You don't have to be a superstar athlete. You don't even have to be an athlete. It's 3.1 miles long. Run it, walk it. Have someone push you in a wheelbarrow. Push a stroller. Have someone push you in a stroller. Cheer for us on the sidelines. However you choose to participate will be greatly appreciated.

We are doing this in the memory of my Dad and have a team that I'm pretty sure he would be proud of. Even though the man himself would have never, ever participated in something like this. This would be one of those time were he would send my mom, sister and I off while he stayed home and grilled a big, celebratory dinner. That was his style. We have formed Team Cigars and Tiki Bars after two of his favorite ways to kick back and relax. I'm hoping that we really make a presence at this walk and have set a pretty lofty goal of $5000 to raise as a team.

If you would like to join us, and I really hope you will consider it, you can register for the 5k for our team by clicking the join us button on this page:

http://purplestride.kintera.org/iowa/cigarsandtikibars

If running or walking isn't your scene or can't make it out for the day, you can make a donation to help the team reach our fundraising goal by clicking the same link. Either way, your support will be very much appreciated. 

Hope to see you guys out there in September!

For more information about the Pancreatic Cancer Action and their mission to advance research, support patients, and create hope you can check out their website at 
www.pancan.org 

One more candle and a trip around the sun

 It's  hard to believe that this picture was taken exactly a year ago. 365 days. 

It was your 60th birthday and we had a little party for you. Nothing big, just mom, Jenny, Brian, Hailey, and I. Hailey and I decorated the house for you and surprised you after work. We ate dinner, had some cake.  You weren't feeling the best and weren't very hungry but we had no idea that cancer was already taking its toll on your body. We had no idea.

It was right after your birthday that you went in for some tests. And then some more tests. And then we got a phone call. And you went back for another test. And then another phone call. And some devastating news. I remember every day of this past year exactly. I remember standing there in the kitchen when the doctor called mom. Watching her face for any sign of good news. Hoping, wishing, praying that it wasn't what we all thought it was, knew it was.

This last year, starting and ending with your birthday has been a time-warp. On one hand I can't believe it's been a whole year. It went by so, so fast. It was if you were here and gone with a blink of an eye. I guess when your time is limited, every second, every minute, every day goes by a little faster than you want. So many times I just wanted to pause time and hang there for a minute. On the other hand, I can't believe its only been a year. It's only been six months since the funeral. It feels like it's already been an eternity. Only one year ago you were my perfectly healthy (so we all thought), happy, normal dad, walking around, going to work. It feels like decades have passed since that guy was around.

This last year hasn't been easy but we have made it so far. Writing this today is no easier than the first couple of posts. I miss you just as much today as I do then. It sounds cliche, but there really isn't an hour at goes by that you don't cross my mind. Everything reminds me of you somehow. Thankfully, most of the time it just brings a smile to my face but Sometimes, in the most random of times, it will hit me and I'll miss you more than ever. I totaled my car a couple of weeks ago. It was the first time in a long time I just wanted you there. I wanted to call you and just have you take care of everything like you always did. I wanted you to yell at me for not getting my brakes fixed when they started to make noise. I just wanted you to tell me that it was going to be okay.

Your absence is felt everywhere. I hear that from a lot of people. Things are just not the same with out you here. I went to the gun show and saw some of your guys. I've ran into some guys from the Sheriffs office. They said the same thing. They just miss you. Everybody does. It is just a testament to how many people here loved, valued, and enjoyed your presence in their lives. 

I'll be missing you a lot today and reflecting on this last trip around the sun that I've made.
Happy birthday Papa. 

Miss you lots, love you more.

Reflections

New Year's Day.

I can't believe that another year has passed. Just like everybody does this time of year, I have been looking back. Replaying the year. Sizing it up. Was it a good year? Was it a bad year?

It was the best year.
It was the worst year.

It was by far one of the most important years of my life. I'm sure that at the end of my days I'll still say that 2013 was one hell of a year.

It was the year I got a promotion. A rather significant one to me. One I worked hard for. One that I didn't get in 2012 and one of my coworkers did. It was the first time Adult Kim worked hard for something and obtained it. It felt amazing.

It was the year I moved in with Ryan.

It was the year we took our first vacation together.

It was the year I learned how to play golf. Kind of.

It was the year I went to my first car race. And I liked it. I became a fan.

It was the year I found out my Dad had cancer.

It was the year my family was tried and tested.

It was the year I saw pain and suffering.

It was the year I watched my Dad and my Mom fight for more time together.

It was the year I learned to be positive no matter what I was facing.

It was the year I watched my Dad die.

It was the year I learned how to appreciate the small things.

It was the year I saw my family fall to pieces and then pick up those pieces.

It was the year friendships were stregthened. Cemented almost.

It was the year I learned to truly appreciate the people and things around me.

It was the year I finally grew up a little bit. Realized that it wasn't about me. Or what I wanted. Or that life has its own plans. I learned a little bit about sacrifice. I feel I little older. A little wiser.

It was the year of extreme loss. Loss that has forever changed me.

It was the year of good times. Good concerts. Good trips. Good drinks. Good nights drinking on the patio. Good days spent on the river. Good laughs. Good memories.

So this new year is a little bittersweet. It's the same feeling I have when I visit an old friend. I know I have to leave. Move on. Return to normal life. But I never want to. I want to stick around a little longer. Stay just a little bit. But staying too long would wear out the welcome.

I am excited for this new year. To see what it brings and what adventure are in store for me and the fam. It will be a big year too. A year of healing. A year of not letting the little moments pass. Of living in the moment. Of saying why not instead of why. Of letting those around me know how much they are appreciated.

I wish you a Happy New Year full of enough of whatever you need. And thank you for coming on this journey with me.